Longing for connection: University educators creating meaning through sharing experiences of teaching online

This paper presents a reflexive analysis of how university educators experience the shift to increasing online teaching in 2019. We explore what it means be an educator contemporary higher education and aim raise questions about we approach understand ourselves as educators, informed by sociomaterial lens. The research utilised collaborative autoethnography (CAE) facilitate meaning-making uncover complex perspectives through collaboration conversation. enabled us question were losing gaining consequence shifting more modes via mandated platforms processes. Through this methodology, various themes emerged: role corporeality; constructed texts; others materialised virtual spaces; time; our transforming practices identities. provides snapshot significant cultural milieu academia afforded time engage practice just academic world was abruptly almost wholly online. It also unique insights into significance understanding both embodied social, importance community within academia. Practitioner notes What is already known topic Higher education's online, before during COVID, has had substantial effect on staff, including discomfort loss agency. adds Considering material important education, particularly because can taken-for-granted hence overlooked. Feelings disconnection result from inevitable gap between represent themselves perceive (“materialise”) them Experiencing lack connection with students opportunity assumptions student experiences develop nuanced practice. Teaching requires some kind reconciliation linear laid out learning design not-yet-here/always-there learning. Implications for and/or policy Attention must continue paid even experienced ones find disturbs identities practices. Collegially sharing spaces may assist making sense shifts demanded allow active modelling processes students. benefit deliberate consideration developing personas reflection accommodate professional